Just a Journal
by Kaylie
Summary: This is just a little something about Duo's daily life and growing feelings for Heero. Little swearing. Little shonen ai, I guess. Read and Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

All that I own is mine, all that I don't own belongs so someone who isn't me. That someone probably doesn't appreciate me using their characters, but I figure it's like celebrity deathmatch; it's all impersonated in good fun!  
  
A Simple Journal  
  
Dear Diary,  
Today was sweet. When I woke up I spent the first hour taking a nice hot shower. Fei-chan was really mad. I really don't understand why. He should work on his patience. Heero spent the morning locked up in his room. Wonder what he was up to..... Note to self: Watch Back.I talked Trowa into taking me with him to the circus. He even chose me as a clown helper person from the audience. I don't like that half-mask, though. It creeps me out. Well, I think I'm gonna go dip Wufei's hand in warm water. I know it's old, but hey, if it works it works!  
Ja Ne,  
Duo  
  
Diary,  
Heero is really pissed at me today. I tripped on my shoelace and spilt orange juice all over him and his laptop. I want to make it up to him,but have no clue how. Besides, I thought the way the puter sparked was pretty. Guess what? I caught Quat and Trowa making out! They turned beat red. I made up a song to tease them with. I sang it under my breath whenever Trowa was near, but was an understanding angel around Quatre. It was funny. I didn't know Trowa could even get mad. I got his eyebrow to curve sinisterly in my general direction. I think Wuffie was impressed. Speaking of him......... wonder what he's up to........ Maybe I should go re-arange his little Nataku shrine. Nah, Maybe later, I gotta catch up on my Zs.  
~Duo  
  
Diary,  
Trowa isn't mad anymore. I combed Heero's bangs while he was sleeping. It looks really freaky. They are stringy. You know what? Heero looks really peaceful and childlike when he's sleeping. I think he's cool, but it's impossible to know what the perfect soldier thinks. He probably hates me. I'm going to start a new job tomarrow. At a pawn shop. Heero fixed his laptop. I put a lot of salt in Fei's tea this morning. We had a friendly verbal spar. Quatre helped me bake cookies. They are only a little crispy this time.  
........... The mighty trickster and god of death.................  
  
Diary,  
I got fired from my new job. How was I supposed to know all about trading stuff in for other stuff? Oh, well. Maybe I'll get a job at the supermarket. Quatre feels bad for me. Wufei gloated because he is holding down a good job as a martial arts instructor. *shrug* I caught Heero glaring at me today. I got butterflies in my stomach. I wonder what I did to piss him off this time.  
~DUO  
  
I am not writing Diary again!,  
oops! Just did! Today I filled out a job aplication. Boring stuff. I cracked my knuckles a lot to annoy Wufei while he was reading. I left Trowa alone. Heero's bangs have clumped again. I'll leave them alone now. That was scary. Quatre and Trow-chan are getting really mushy. Note to self: Figure out why they are so mushy. Wait! Nevermind I don't want to know. I went for a walk and played with little kids at the playground. I like little kids. Um, lesee, what else? Oh yeah! Heero went on some "secret mission" this afternoon. I ransacked his room. I found out that he keeps a diary too. I couldn't pick all 7 locks with just one hairpin. I'm gonna go back with a few more next time he goes on a mission.  
........ME.........  
  
Journal Thingy,  
Today I slipped a laxative in Wufei's drink. The results were amusing. He chased me around the house and threatened to cut off my beloved braid. He was REALLY pissed. Trowa fell asleep on the couch and I braided his bangs. My new job is spiffy. I get $7 an hour and only work 22 hours a week as a bagger at a grocery store. I took some of the paper bags and have wallpapered a wall in my room with them. Tomarrow I'm gonna paint a picture on them.  
~Duo  
  
Journal,  
OMG!! Today I picked the locks on Heero's diary while he was out. He feels way more than he lets on, which is good to know. He's really lonely. I guess he feels small because all that he knows is a life dedicated to war. He is actually kinda sensitive. He wrote about a time when I called him 'Spandex'. Thinking back, he wore jeans for the next few days... Come to think of it, he writes about me a lot. Hmmm.  
-a very happy shinigami  
  
Diary,  
Trowa and Quatre are celebrating their 5 month anniversery. I gave them liquor and a promise not to bug them at all. They are so cute. I wish I was somebody's somebody. I had a not-so-intersting day. Heero keeps looking at me strangely when he thinks I'm not looking. I wonder if he knows that I read his diary. I want to reach out to him. He could be my somebody if only I knew what was in his soul. Anyway, I shall end this 'deep and meaningful' entry with something I noticed today: WuFei is having PMS or something. Dunno whats up with him.  
~Duo  
  
Diary,  
Guess what?? I got Hee-chan to come to the movies with me. It was soooooo cool. The movie was an awesome comedy, but more importantly I heard Heero laugh. It's got a really nice sound. He should do it more often. It's like a soft chuckle that you have to strain to hear. My hairband broke when I was rebraiding my hair in the car. (Heero got paranoid because I was doing it while driving) So I had to wear my hair down. I don't like the way it curls. Oh, well. wufei said(snidely) that people probably assumed that I was a girl and that we were on a date. That doesn't bug me a bit ^_- G'night  
Duo  
  
Author Junk: Review or I shall hit you with kooshlings!  
  
  
  



	2. A short Chapter

This is the next set of entries *Dum Dum Dum* I did revise the first section a little because of some minor confusion and feedback. ^_^ As if you didn't know: I don't even own the outfit I'm wearing right now, much less Gundam Wing. Whoever does own them is one lucky cup of toilet water!  
  
Just a Journal  
  
Dear Piece of Paper,  
A revelation hit me today after dinner. I was sitting on the front steps watching Trowa kick Quatre's ass at one on one b-ball. I like Heero. I guess I have for a while. What a stupid thing to do huh? I mean, where's this gonna go? Probably just down the drain. I can't do anything about it either. Wufei called me names when stood up in shock of my realization and knocked him into the thorny rose plant. Lost my job today. Quatre said he'd hook be up with a new one.  
~Duo  
  
Dear Diary,  
I am really tired. Quatre wasn't kidding when he mentioned setting me up with a new job. I now am an official fish carrying person. I unload fish from the boats and take them to the market. It's smelly hard work. Yuck! Wufei and Heero wouldn't even come near me I stank like fish so bad! My goal is to get fired from this job. I'm good at that. I guess I don't like being told to do something and not being able to have a little fun. Trowa's got all the luck. He gets to get knives thrown at him as an occupation. I can't believe that Heero wouldn't come near me, though! There is no way that I can bear this!  
  
Diary,  
Nothing happened today. I watched cartoons. Made Wufei watch sailor moon with me.   
~Duo  
  
Journal,  
I GOT FIRED!!!!!!!! Yes! I am so happy! Now I don't have to smell like fish! Trowa, Wufei, and Quatre are all going shopping tomorrow. I wonder why wufei is going?? Heero said he'd be gone too. That means I get the house to myself! (A.k.a. Journal Lock Picking Time) Quatre was making a cake today, and I switched recipes so that he made the wrong kind. Quatre wasn't upset though. The cake was good!   
Duo  
  
Dearest Diary,  
Today was poetry. In his journal Hee-chan said "I just don't know what to feel about that Braided imbecile! Sometimes I want to hug him and sometimes I want to rip his head off! I don't know what to do. I guess I'll just stay me." That was cool, but I don't exactly get it. What should I do? Anyway, while I was at it I picked Trowa's Lock too. He has mostly a bunch of mush about his "Blonde Angel". He did have some poetry with Quatre's name in it that I sneaked into Wufei's room. When Quaty goes in for laundry duty he'll be surprised!   
~Almighty Shinigami  
  
Journal,  
Trowa had laundry duty this week. Wufei and him figured it out and gave me holy what-for! It was scarey. Wufei ranted and Trowa, He actually blushed! I guess that wasn't meant for my eyes, ne? Heero isn't back yet. I'm very worried for him!  
~Me  
  



	3. Another Short Chapter

*Giant Yawn* Good evening everyone! I am hyper and sleep deprived! Ain't that the best state to be in when you write? Hope so, because another instalment of Just a Journal is coming your way, wether it's good mediocre or downright rotten. Of coarse the only way that I'll ever know which of the three it is would be for you to tell me yourself. *Nudge Nudge* Oh yeah! I don't own much. So don't sue me.  
  
Just a Journal  
  
Dear Diary,  
I am really worried! Heero hasn't come back yet. If he's not back by the day after tomorrow me and Quatre are going to look for him. (Quatre isn't aware of this yet.) Trowa and Wufei aren't speaking with me at the moment. I recited some of the poetry for Quat-chan and he adored it. Trowa should be pleased with me for bringing them closer together. Wufei is going down to his Nataku 'shrine'. It's just a little pile of rocks near a river that's a few miles away with some Chinese writing and a picture. I think I'll beat him there and put a lilly on the memorial. He'll never figure it's me. Then I'll arrange lilies all over his room so it'll smell like that girly perfume. (Can't do something nice and not balance it!)   
~Duo  
  
Journal,  
Heero still isn't back. No one has glared at me all day. It's really lonely. Oh well, I think I'll go order a pizza and have a little party. Maybe Trowa and Quatre will talk with me. Well, if they aren't to wrapped up in each other. Darn couples! They're gonna dissolve in mush someday!  
~Shinigami  
  
Journal,  
Quatre and Trowa are fighting! I never thought I'd see the day. It was terrible. I don't even know what it was about. I was duct taping Wufei's boxers all over the outside of the house when I heard yelling. Trowa yelling, need I say more? I ran inside to find Quatre looking all red with tears and an angry glint in his eye. Trowa wasn't doing much better. Wufei looked like he was gonna lay an egg. I mean, Quatey and Trowa? They are like the perfect match. Anyway, now Quatre is bunking with me tonight. (Which will have earned me Trowa's eternal pissed-ness) Quatre won't talk about it, and Wuffie is working on getting Trowa to open up, with last I heard there wasn't much progress. Heero still isn't back. I don't know what to do!  
  
Journal,  
Heero came back! That bastard tried to self-destruct again. How thoughtless! Did he even stop to think about us? No, it's just mister 'I'm-so-perfect-that-you-shouldn't-be-aloud-to-rest-your-mortal-eyes-upon-my-drool-worthy-bod' Yuy. He comes home to us at four in the morning with his left side from his collar to his ass lacerated. And on top of that he won't tell us what happened! I helped Quatre bandage him up and I'm sitting by his bed now. Wouldn't want that baka to do something stupid like blow himself up. Gods! Trowa and Quatre haven't said a word to each other since The Fight. The silence was so unnerving that I had to talk to myself. Trowa and Wuffers weren't pleased!  
~Duo  
  
Diary,  
I'm still sitting by Heero. Tired. I haven't moved for a loooooong time. Trowa brought me food. Bless his mighty soul. Don't know what's going on with him and Trowa. Wufei is being himself.  
~Duo  
  
Diary,  
Heero is doing much better today. He sat up and ate some stuff. He was ready to get up and moving, but I am making him spend at least another day in bed. I made Heero his favorite dinner: Taco Bell. Well, that's my favorite, but Heero likes it too. Quatre and Trowa made up this evening. I know because Heero's room is below Trowa's. I heard. Wufei and I have been playing cards along with Heero. Heero is even good at cards.   
~Me  
  
Diary,  
Heero is restless so I let him out of bed. He is still stuck indoors though. There is no way I'm gonna let him get hurt again right now. Wufei keeps calling me a mother hen. I hid his picture of Nataku. I couldn't stay mad at Hee-chan for getting hurt. He probably didn't mean to worry us. I hope.   
~The Might Duo  
  
**********************  
Thats all I have time for right now. *sigh* I gotta write longer chapters I know........ I just have a short attention span. Well hope you like!!  



	4. Yet another Short Chapter ^_^

Okay, this is just another chapter. Part about duo and Wufei is not ;p loosely based off my own dealings with a school prep. (Well....... maybe just a little ^_~)   
  
Just a Journal- part four  
  
Hey Journal,  
Today was mediocre. Nothing much happened to tell the truth. (and I never lie.) I fiddled with the ice machine on the fridge a little. Hehe. The next person who goes for ice is going to get mini ice cubes engraved into his forehead. I spied on Quatre, and sorta caught him with Trowa. I ran in sheer terror. It's not that I'm freaked out by that stuff or anything, it's just that it's private, you know? Not meant to be intruded on.  
~Maxwell the Demon ^_^  
  
Dear Diary,  
Today was off to a terrible start. Heero hadn't said a word to me all morning and then Relena came over to top things off. I don't want her dead or anything, but gosh damn she can be so annoying. Fawning over Heero like that. Makes me sick. Always 'Heeeeeeeeeeerro come rip off my head and spit down my neck!' or 'Heeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrooooooooo save me!' Well she should make up her mind. Does she want Hee-chan to kill her ass or save her ass? I just wrote Hee-chan. Whoa. She stayed like all day. I stayed only long enough to see her reaction to Heero trying to self destruct again. As expected she went on some kind of pacifist rant. I shoot up to my room and played really loud NIN music just so they wouldn't forget I existed.  
~Duo  
  
Diary,  
Mission today. Will be gone for at least two days. Can't write about it. Trowa and Wufei are coming too.  
~The God of Death  
  
Diary,  
It's been 5 days since I last wrote. Let's just say that the mission was successful, but we kinda got stranded for a few days in the middle of nowhere. I learned a lot. About Wufei in particular. He's not such a jerk. We were stuck together for a long time while Trowa went to find communication and I learned a lot. I found out just how much he knows about martial arts. I had no idea it was so hard. I know a few basics, but Wufei is like a human weapon. He started to teach me some cool moves. I think I'm gonna start taking lessons. I also learned a little bit about the way he feels about stuff. He doesn't like Relena either, and he's also a Kenshin fan. Can you believe it? He deserves way more credit than I've been giving him.  
~Duo  
  
Diary,  
Landmark! I cooked a decent meal! I think everyone was totally surprised. Don't know why....... They couldn't have doubted my cooking abilities, could they? Nah. Haha. I showed them! I made five whole lean cuisines all by myself and the microwave still works. I caught Heero snooping around my room today. I'm both flattered and scared. I check for bombs and cameras and stuff, but just to be sure I'm gonna bunk on the couch. Never know. On the other hand Heero was in my room! I should go in there and never come out. Definitely not obsessed. Not me! I"m also kinda hyper. Don't know why. I think I'll take my chances and sleep in here. But not before going and hiding Quatre's stuffed flamingo that Trowa got him for his b-day not to long ago. He kisses it goodnight every night. I wonder when Heero's b-day is.  
~Shinigami  
  
Diary,  
I am really tired today. I spent the whole night cracking into the heavily coded files of the mysterious 'Heero Yuy'. It took me 8 hours and 16 minutes, but I got it. I was so proud. I figured on at least a full 15 hours and 10 minutes. Odin Lowe Jr., born March 14, was placed in a mental establishment at age four for unnamed reasons. Adopted at age five. Is now believed to be the 'inhuman' pilot of the gundam wing. Well the last part was a no-brainer. If I want anything more extensive than that I'm gonna have to go straight to the paper work in the Doctors office, because I can't get the rest. I always was a better thief than hack. Quatre found his flamingo. Wufei signed me up for lessons under the condition that I not play any pranks on him until I quit taking martial arts. Heero took a nap late this afternoon and I snuck in and lit 20 candles before he started to wake up. He is such a light sleeper.  
~Duo  
  
Dearest Diary,  
Today was good. I have a mission with Heero that starts tomorrow. I'm so anxious! Heero is finally aloud to go on missions. Quatre and Trowa are at the movies right now. I'm gonna go see if I can recruit Wufei to help me make diner. I don't feel like lean cuisine. Earlier I taught Wufei how to sing the Kenshin theme song in English. He already knows the Chinese and Japanese ways. I was going to teach him the Spanish way too, but I forgot how it ends.  
~Shinigami  
  
Diary,  
I busted my arm on the mission. Heero was the bomb. I probably got hurt because I spaced in the middle of battle watching Heero. Not the smartest. It's not a bad break though. Wufei lent me the tapes to a show called 'Ranma «'. Wonder if it's any good.....hmmm. Off to investigate.  
~The Mighty Broken Armed One   
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Some big wig in a suit probably owns gundam wing, I on the other hand, don't even own a suit.  
  
Just a Journal  
  
Diary,  
Having your arm broken really sucks monkey. I am sooooooooo bored and I have only had a broken arm for like a day. Its not broken that bad, but whenever I get up to do something My Mother Dearest (Quatre) says something about how I shouldn't be moving my arm at all and ushers me to some "productive" television show. It's not even Jerry Springer. Can you believe that here on earth in Japan they don't have Jerry Springer? We have it on all the colonies and Quatre said that they had it in Arabia, or wherever he's from. That's it. I am going up to the roof to get all the gutter slop and put it in a bucket . Then I'm going to fill Quatres shoes and Wufeis hair gel bottle with it. They are driving me up a wall. And my arm hurts.  
~Duo  
  
Diary,  
I rebroke my arm climbing the rose vine holder thing. Trelace, or something. I didn't tell anyone but Heero and he told me that it was a stupid thing to do. Great. I am going to take a hot shower. Quatre and Trowa are out shopping and I bribed Trowa. He's gonna get me some beer in exchange for some information. It's kinda funny. I wonder what information he wants......   
On the bright side of today, I still get to take martial arts and don't have to job hunt. Wufei said that working with a broken arm will help me learn something about fighting through pain or something like that.   
~Duo  
  
Journal,  
My arm is still broken. Today was good. I attempted to have a conversation with Heero. He actually said a few words. They were "Grey", "A long time ago", and "None of your business". Ah, memories. I think he was actually being sarcastic when he said his favorite color was grey. We've got progress!  
~Shinigami  
  
Book that I write in,  
Still taking lessons with Wuffy-chan isn't as fun as I thought it would be. After he karate hi-ya-ed my already throbbing arm for the fourth time we decided to just watch Ranma. I think I'm addicted. Its really cool! Now I have Kenshin, Ranma, 3x3 eyes, Those who hunt elves, Gundam, and Care Bears. Yes I admit it! I like Care Bears! I am really tired, but I'm still going to put on that lip stick I stole from Relena and get lipstick smudges on Quatre's shirt. He was away with Dorothy all day. I know that Trowa does laundry this week. I heard Wufei ask Hee-chan who's turn it was and.... Yeah. The perfect plan. If Quarter get in too much of a pickle I'll come clean.  
~Duo  
  
Journal,  
Trowa believes Quatre unconditionally! It's amazing! I heard it all go down. Quatre just said he didn't and Trowa believe him! Whoa, that is true love. I wish I had someone who believed me like that. Then again, I'm not all that believable. Sure, I never tell a lie, but I stay quiet. In a way silence or just telling part of the story is a lie. Anyway, they talked and everything is fine. Maybe Trowa can just tell or something. He's caught me climbing around the outside of the house before. He seems to have some sort of wise sixth sense. Heero has one too, but in a different way. Wufei and I are the normal ones. Quatre could be normal if he weren't so mushy and didn't have that space-heart thing going on.  
~Duo  
  
Journal,  
Heero and I went on a hike today. I told him that I didn't want to go out in the woods and get lost by myself so he said he'd get lost with me and grabbed his coat. It was so sweet. He said more that I've ever heard him say.... He pointed out all the different animals. I'm a city kid so I have no clue, but apparently he's had some woods work. I was really tempted to ask him why he was in a mental institution at age four, but didn't. That would have spoiled the moment. It was almost like a dream, truth be told. I found some poison ivy and carefully put it in my sack. It'll come in handy if Quatre yips at me for going somewhere with a broken arm. I don't know what his problem is. He doesn't baby anyone else when they get hurt, not even Trowa. Back to the highlight of my glorious day now, Heero and I went on a hike. *sigh* He is dreamy. Oh crap. I hear someone out in the hall! Gotta Go!  
~A happy joyous Duo  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6........

Heehee. Type type type. Bored bored bored. I don't own anything. Hear me??? NOTHING! It's actually kinda depressing........ oh well.  
  
Just a Journal  
  
Journal,  
Whoa I am tired today! My poor arm is healing up nicely. Wufei gave me some mystic Chinese nasty tasting junk because I was complaining so much. He said it'd 'increase healing potential'. Quatre finally told me what his and Trowa's fight was about. Turns out that Trowa was planning on running away and joining the circus. (again) It was a lame act for some circus way down south. Maybe Trowa is one of those guys who needs to travel? Oh well. I guess Quatre didn't want him to go, and Quatre (as usual) got his way. Today I played American country music really loudly and Wufei screeched at me. I didn't think it was too bad.   
~Duo  
  
The mighty piece of paper on which I shall write the events of today,  
Today I was feeling pretty industrious. Now everyone hates me. I borrowed Wufei's ranma tapes without asking and I watched them from like 10:00 am till 3 p.m. Then I realized that I had no cool clean clothes so I figured I'd do laundry. Bad idea. I kinda didn't close the door right so now we have an indoor swimming pool. Then I knocked over a bunch of papers in Quatre's little study area. Then I was practicing with Trowa's knives and embedded one in a painting when my attention wandered to Hee-chan. Oh Why? Why me? What am I gonna do about Heero?  
~Duo  
  
Journal,  
Okay Today is the day. I will ask Heero out. Wait! NO way! There is a lot of junk that could go wrong with that! What was I thinking? Oy! Sorry my crush remains my secret until I gather a sufficient supply of mojo. Well, maybe I could ask him to come to the movies with me again. It wont be a date or anything. Then I have to go bug Wufei about my kenshin oav, because he still has it. I will ask Heero. I will ask Heero. I can do this. I am shinigami and I can pilot gundams and I might ask Heero to come to the movies.  
~Shinigami and his small ration of mojo  
  
Diary,  
Heero did go to the movies with me. ^_^ yay! I got popcorn add I brushed Heero's hand in the container. The movie was good, but I don't remember what it was about. Heero didn't laugh though. I wish he would have. The day after tomorrow he is going on a mission with Wufei and I'm gonna see about his diary again. I don't think Quatre and Wufei keep diaries. They should. I'm gonna see about a job as a daycare helper person. Trowa actually suggested it. I like little kids so..... Piece o cake, right? Hope so!  
~Maxwell the Demon  
  
Journal,  
Today wasn't that interesting. I went down to the preschool place and filled out an application. I also met the teacher. She's cool, I guess. Her name is Mrs. Verschider which kinda scared me. I put a bunch of ice on Quatre's bed to melt just to see what happens. I put sugar water in the ice cube trays. I love sugar water. I don't think anyone else does. Too bad for them.   
~Duo  
  
Diary,  
Today was journal lock picking day. I found out some very informational things about Heero. It was difficult to get past Heero's new security system for his room. After much time and many ruined outfits I found out that his new code is DSM-02. After that I had to pick the locks to his journal. There a re a lot, trust me. I was rewarded with the knowledge that the perfect soldier has been suffering from several kinds of dreams ranging from nightmares to..... well you know. Hee-chan is very descriptive, but seems to have a love of pronouns. I can't tell who he's talking about. I also gleaned that he only sees Relena as a vessel for peace, and not as love-material. I danced around the room at that news. Of coarse Quatre had to come in and keep me from finishing the whole thing, so I went to the comic book store and got some junk.  
~Duo  
  
Diary,  
Heero knows that someone was in his room. I don't think he's sure it's me yet. I wonder how much longer I have to live........... He stormed into his room. I heard him mutter something about the room being axsesed. I think he's going to put in another new system. My arm is way better. I got it x-rayed and it's almost healed. I guess Wufei's potion really was a miracle drug. Doc said it'd be another week before I could get outta the damn cast if it keeps going at the same rate.  
~Me  
  
Diary,  
Today I did some gardening with Quatey-chan. I slipped in some violets in the carrot section. Not much else happened today to tell the truth. I got the job as a preschool aid. I start next week. I hope I can keep this job. I wonder what I should do about Heero. That is like an itch! I don't know what to say!  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. A bad week in the life of Duo

Disclaimer: Hey, I don't own anything! If Gundam Wing were mine there would be an entire episode of GW dedicated to weird hairstyles that all the G-charas could try! I'd also have the fic "Asylum" by Spooks made into a movie cause it's so damn cool! Do you see the aforementioned happening? *looks around* I don't so I guess Gundam Wing isn't mine. For shame.  
  
Authors notes: You prolly want me to shut up already but I feel like rambling for just another second. I have a question for y'all. Do you like short chapters put out frequently or long ones once in a while??  
  
Just a Journal (7)  
  
Spiral bound paper thingy in which I write many personal things,  
Sorry its been a week since I've written anything at all. Something came up and had to move really fast. We just left everything and found someplace else to stay. Now were back and I must say a lot has happened. We left on Tuesday. All Tuesday afternoon we looked for someplace to stay. We ended up at the circus. Trowa and I did a few acts for room and board. It was cool! I cant believe I let Trowa throw knives at me (Trowa wouldn't throw knives at his beloved Quatre so I "volunteered") and balance me on a wire. I never wanna do that again! Quatre doesn't like heights unless there's something encasing him or he woulda done it. Wednesday Heero and I went for a walk. ^_^ He said a few things about various stuff and I yabbered like an idiot the whole time. Thursday while Trowa was feeding the lions I "inadvertently" let them out. Trowa got them back before anyone found out. He wasn't that irked. Due to cramped living space I bunked with Heero. That took a lot of control and almost cause me a nervous breakdown. Friday was kinda boring. Wufei did a circus act with swords. He didn't tell me about it so I couldn't see it. Quatre said he earned a lot of cash for it. I was supposed to start my new job but didn't. Instead I start tomorrow. Yesterday it was deemed safe to come back so here I am all peachy keen. I've been working on my Heero problem bit by bit. Its so damn hard to approach him, but I love a *cute* challenge.  
~Maxwell the Demon  
  
Notebook,  
I was a little nervous about my job so I persuaded Wufei to come along with me. I knew that if him around squalling 5 year olds couldn't calm my nerves then nothing could. It was funny watching him chase little kids relentlessly around the building. Today was just an observation training thingy so I didn't have to do all that much. I helped them paint and stuff. They are soooooooo cute with their chubby little hands and ability to smite Wufei with no problem. I should take lessons. Quatre is pleased with something. I can tell. I'm going to invade his privacy and ask about it later. I'm pleased with something too. Heero will be away for an afternoon tomorrow so I'm gonna "borrow" his diary; I am in desperate need of insight . I wish he would write something that let me know one way or the other! It's flipping annoying! Trowa is being himself; kinda quietly and severely thoughtful.  
~Duo-kun  
  
Journal,  
Well, today really bit. A lot. Heero staged his "leaving" so he could catch the interloper in his room. Now he probably totally hates me. I didn't lie about it or anything, I just didn't tell the whole truth. I think he knows that I read his journal. I think I should have thought about how he's react if he found out. What am I going to do? I just walked into his room and he was sitting on the bed with a pistol in his hand proceeded to give me the death glare of 'oh my gawd you are in shit so deep that your gonna be petrified in it until your eyebrows are as long as Dorothy' . He just growled at me to get out and I swear I almost broke down so I went to my room and pouted. I'm gonna stay here for a while. I think he hates me now more than ever.  
~Duo Maxwell  
  
Diary,  
Still guilty about Heero thing. Heero isn't acknowledging my presence. What to do? I'm going to cry! I swear! What to do? :(  
I went to work. Little kids are awesome but tiring. Joey just wouldn't sleep during naptime. Tracy climbed out the window twice. Kat wouldn't share. Ben took Akara's glasses. Food fight at lunch. Whole nine yards. Arm all better. I noticed that I haven't been called in for mission in a while. I'll have to check up on that. Spent late afternoon detonating stink bombs in the basement. Nobody was happy. Going to bad now. Seems like everyone hates me. Bad week I guess. Maybe luck will get better?  
~Shinigami  
  
Book of thoughts,  
I dreamed an odd dream last night about Heero. He was standing over me while I was sleeping with a rose in one hand and a short knife in the other. He smiled (which should have startled me into wakefulness) and ran a hand through my undone hair. He kissed the rose and put it against my forehead then disappeared. That was the strangest thing I've ever dreamt. I wish he didn't hate me. I do like him. I am getting used to the little kids already, even though they make me wanna tear my hair out sometimes. I started a tiny fire in the kitchen trying to roast marshmallows on the stove. I but a violet on Wufei's Nataku shrine. I don't really know why its so special, but for some reason I can tell it deserves respect. I silly stringed Quatre's garden. He wasn't too upset. He did ask me to mow the lawn though.  
~Duo  
  
Journal,  
Nothing to much happened. Heero was looking at me odd during breakfast, I wonder if he'll ever speak to me again. Trowa and Quatre went out. I was bored.  
~Duo  
  
Diary,  
"That's the night the lights went out in Georgia, that's the night they hung an innocent man" ~Reba Mcintire. That's kinda how I feel right now. One of the pipes exploded and for some reason everyone seems to think its my fault. The pipe flooded the entire house and fried the electricity and the place is a mess. No water, gas, or electricity. I can't think of anything I've done that would have caused that. There's like a couple thousand at least worth of water and piping damage alone. Quatre is politely insisting that I pay for it. It's impossible to refuse when Trowa is standing right behind him with a look on his face that promises pain if I don't comply. I'm gonna hafta start another job to pay as well as the daycare one. Not only that Hee-chan doesn't like me. I swore that I didn't do it. Wufei almost (keyword: almost) backed me up, but couldn't fend off the lovebirds. Life has gone rapidly down the drain so I'd better work on my smile.   
~Shimigami and Sadness  
  
Diary,  
I've finally snapped. I'm going through Heero withdraw! I miss his few words and always present grimace.Heero hasn't spoken much to me since he found out I went into his room. I want to tell him I'm sorry and that I really do care. I care a lot. I guess I didn't realize how much closer we've grown over time. I mean we were to the point where we were almost having two-sided conversations. He actually started to look me in the eye when uttering something other than a death threat. That really meant a lot to me. I only did it to find out what was in his heart. I want to know all about him. What makes him laugh and what he'd cry over. I want to know how he thinks and I want to comfort him when he needs me. I want him to need me. I want to make him laugh when he frowns. Over the last few days I've tried to deny how much his neglect hurt. I tried to push away the guilty feelings and focus on other things. I shouldn't have gone in his room without permission. At fist it was a way to get information but then it became a way for me to read into him. I shouldn't have invaded his privacy. I read about his dreams and thoughts about everyone. And now he's gone back into his perfect soldier shell. Damn it! I was so close! And now I"m a sappy puddle just 'cause he wont look in my direction. But, gods, I think I love him.  
~Duo  
  
Book,  
Today I go on a mission. Be back soon.  
~Duo  
  
Journal of Doom,  
I got back late last night. I've been gone about two days. It was a short mission. I feel sorta bad because I know I'm not supposed to write about the details of missions anywhere but logs, but I have to say one thing. That base had a nursery. For kids. The base is now pretty much gone. I got 11 of the kids out with help from an attendant. 4 more were rescued by the people that search the ruble. 6 are unaccounted for. Part of the infiltration process was to spend a morning with the kids. I don't know how to feel. Mission accomplished, but was it worth it? Heero (who is starting to speak to me again during the mission) said that is was our job and that if we didn't do it that someone else surely would. I don't know about that though. Well, on the up side, Heero is speaking with me again. He said part of the reason it peeved him so much is that someone was able to break past his damn security system. Still those kids.....  
~ A very disturbed Shinigami who seems to have no room for jokes lately and who plans to remedy that by dying Trowa's undies pink  
  



	8. Chapter 8

Well................... I've been slacking, what can I say?   
  
Just a Journal  
  
Dear Diary,  
I'm still feeling kinda icky about that mission. Quatre knows it and has been trying to get me to open up about it, but I don't want to talk. I did dye Trowa's underwear pink. He didn't say anything about it. I don't think there'll be much work in the war for a while, but we're changing location tomorrow.  
~Duo  
  
Journal,  
Today I was still feeling badly about the mission. A newspaper report did say that some of the kids died. I don't know why this hurts so bad. Even Heero was worried. He took me aside and asked me. I didn't want to just break down so I made everything sound peachy. I don't think Heero is showing what he feels either. He was looking out into space all morning. Wufei has been training me vigorously in his martial arts stuff. I think he's trying to help me in his own prideful way. I really am grateful I guess, but I have to learn to deal with this kind of thing. This is war, right? I shouldn't get so emotional. I'm going to find some mischief to get into.  
~Shinigami  
  
Journal,  
This morning I finished unpacking in our new 'home'. I got my stereo on loud blasting Papa Roach and life is okay. Heero and I are sharing a room and it turns out that he doesn't like Papa Roach. Stinks to be him. I can't say I'm disappointed about the rooming assignments, but now I'm nervous. There's only one bed, so I guess we're alternating between floor and bed. Today I was thinking about what I'll think years from now when I read this journal. Will I still feel this way about war? Will I still like Heero? Will I still be the ultimate prankster? Looking forward I'd like to remind myself of two things: 1) I don't want to ever tell Wufei who made recordings of him singing in the shower and then played them in the mall while being sure to say ' Hey Wufei isn't that your voice?' Really loud. 2) Someday if I'm lonely I want to remember these times. 3) Wear sun screen. Another thing that crossed my mind is that I might not get old enough to look back on this. And that's kinda sobering.  
~Wistful Duo  
  
The Book,  
You know what? Heero and I shared a bed. Not that way! (although.... ;p) I'm kind of stunned, but generally happy. I was thinking about those kids when Heero looked at me and said "It'll be okay. You can't undo what's been done'. I'd like to pretend that he just knows me too well, but Dayumn sometimes I think he can read minds.  
!Me  
  
The Happy Diary,  
Doesn't 'The Happy Diary' sound like the name of a pub? I'm in good spirits today. I went swimming and managed to pull Heero in the stream with me. He looked like an angry wet cat and his hair was Kawaii. I saw Trowa and Quatre playing their instruments together. They are so perfect for each other its unreal. I've said it before and I'll say it again: They are soooooo cute when they're together. I also practiced with Wuffy and beat him for the first time. I know he was holding back, but that was still a boost to the ego. I was feeling really macho until FeiFei beat me the next five spars. That bastard is a wonderful ego popping pin. Its a good thing that my ego is durable.   
~Duo  
  
Journal,  
Today was mediocre. I burnt my lean cuisine and watched a lot of T.V. That was about it.  
~Maxwell's Demon  
  
Journal,  
Today would be Solo's birthday. We didn't really know our birthdays, but we gave them to each other. Someone threw out an old calendar and our little ragtag group (Me, Solo, Muffin, Becka, and Meek) came across it and gave each other birthdays. Today was Solo's. Its kind of sad, but we had some good times together. Next week is Muffin's B-day. Two days after Muffins birthday is Becka and Meek's. Becka and Meek always stuck together. Kinda like me and Solo. I remembered them all today with walk in the park and burning some incense that I 'borrowed' from Wufie-chan. I was thinking about how Solo taught me to steal when Heero came in and our room and sat down right in front of me and said 'Talk'. I think Quatre put him up to it, but I talked. A little about Solo and a little about the rest of the guys. Not to much, because that would just set me up for disaster. Then I moved on to trying to get Heero to open up, but I didn't get much. Oh well. Maybe later. I'm just pleased that he talked to me.  
~Duo   
  
Book,  
Today went well. Me and Heero went for a walk. I talked about a book and some movie, nothing major. It seemed kinda like Heero was actually listening to what I said, but you never know. I like him more and more everyday, but I can't say anything. I watched some tv and Wufei kicked my ass at his little 'training session'. Since we moved he's already gotten another martial arts teaching job and Quatre and Trowa are working together at a supermarket. I filled out an application for a gas station and Heero hasn't expressed plans for a job yet.  
TTFN  
~The great almighty one.  
  
Diary,  
Heero informed me that I have a solo mission in 4 days. That's wonderful. Not really. Today was boring, so I spiced it up by painting the house. I painted Wufei on one wall meditating and Quatre and Trowa holding hands in the sunset on the other wall. I also drew Heero sitting at his computer with me bothering him. I liked the way it turned out and nobody yelled at me for it, so it can't be that bad. It took hours. Then I spent some time putting glow stars all over the kitchen. Then I wired the toaster so that the toast won't get more than slightly warm. Today made up for the lack of pranks lately.   
~Duo  
  
Journal,  
Quatre was pissed about the toaster. He didn't express it, but I could tell. He and Trowa went out shopping for a new one. Wufei and I watched Ranma and then Heero and I went down to the lake. I invited Wufei, but he said he needed to repair his gundam. Heero told me about some of the different kinds of fish when I asked. I felt comfortable just watching the fish. We've been doing more together lately and that rules. I'm going to go to bed now.  
'Nits  
~Me  



End file.
